Funny how things don't turn out the way we expect

It is funny how things don't turn out the way we expect them. It can be even more frustrating and confusing when we not only expect things to turn out a certain way, but we also strive hard to achieve that end goal or product. I suppose that's just what life teaches us- to make lemonade when given lemons, to make the most of what you have, and to never put all your eggs in one basket.

For instance, yesterday I made an attempt at Indian food. For all those who know me, I love cooking, and I love exploring different foods and recipes. However, people who know me best also know that I am not particularly savvy with cooking, and even less so with baking. Earlier this month, I made a chocolate ganache pie with raspberry and strawberry glaze topping the pie, and although people really enjoyed it, I knew it was only a success because I didn't have to use the oven for it. Yesterday, I tried making oatmeal chocolate chip cookies- with an instant mix from the store!- and it ended up being slightly crispy- or burnt- and flat like pancakes. Why do I have this baking curse, you may ask?

After years of attempting to bake cakes, cookies, tarts, muffins, and other delicious desserts, I realized that I wasn't cursed to be a failure at baking my whole life, but rather I do not have the patience that a baker needs to perfect recipes. In cooking, I love to cut corners, throw spices in and taste-test here and there, and eventually end up with a product I am satisfied with. However, this doesn't seem to work in baking- or at least, for me it doesn't.

After realizing I failed at making delicious cookies from an instant packet- to me, this would be the equivalent of failing at making instant ramen- I decided to continue with my Indian cooking and hope for the best. Throwing in spices like garam masala and tumeric powder, along with my favorite addition to Indian cooking- cilantro- I ended up making seekh kebabs, chicken and potato masala, and chicken and peas biryani, along with raitu (cucumber yogurt side dish). While I enjoyed eating what I had made and felt confident in my cooking, I realized it wasn't the exact same flavor that made my tastebuds dance when I first tried these dishes. The seekh kebabs were missing mint and more spiciness, the biryani ended up being more sticky like khichidi, and the chicken and potato masala dish was too sweet for my taste. I would have rated my own cooking 5/10.

Surprisingly, however, other people who tried it seemed to really enjoy the dishes, so I was taken aback. Had they not had these dishes before in restaurants?! My mere spiceless seekh kebabs were no match for the sizzling, delicious, fiery and juicy seekh kebabs served on those metal plates with grilled vegetables and aromatics, or so I thought.

The next day, I came home from work, feeling so drained and exhausted after working with the patients, and all I wanted to do was shower and crawl into bed and sleep until the next Ice Age. I dragged my feet to the fridge and used what felt like my last ounce of strength in my arms to pull open the fridge door, to find my leftovers from the other day staring me in the face. I contemplated between eating instant noodles and eating my leftovers, and after a few minutes I gave in. I warmed up my leftover dishes from the previous day, and sat down and opened my laptop. Without giving a second thought, I shoved a bite of the seekh kebab in my mouth, only to be surprised by the different spices and flavors that overcame me. My taste buds started to crave more of the flavors, and suddenly I looked down at an empty bowl. Within only a few minutes I had devoured all the food that I had thought yesterday to be tasteless and uninteresting.

So in conclusion, I still think what I made was not up to par with how I expected it to turn out. It definitely was not comparable to my mom's homemade food, and not even close to the hot, fiery and sizzling foods that I had in good Indian restaurants. However, as my mom always tells me, cooking is a process that should be fun and enjoyed, not a stressful experience. If a dish doesn't turn out the way you expect it to be, it is okay! Sometimes we are our own harshest critics. Similar to how a slow-cooker over several hours results in the most delicious stews and dishes to the imagination, the process of learning how to cook and perfect dishes takes time but is worth it in the end. :)